Da Lucas Code

Ok, if you don't say it, I will.

I'm tired of hearing people taut about awesome and revolutionary the Da Vinci Code is. I read the book and saw the film. I enjoyed it on the same level as any Jean Claude Van Damme movie.

I don't oppose the so called sacrilegious aspects of the story. Heck, I tend to gravitate towards alternative history theories myself. What I oppose is granting Dan Brown any sort creativity diploma.

This stuff has been researched and written about for years. Want revolutionary and incendiary? Read the "Passover Plot", digest it and then add a little bit of "Holy Blood, Holy Grail."  These "theories" have been around since the 60's. Nothing new there.

Even his whole fictional adventure aspect has been done before... ask George Lucas about Indiana Jones.  Dan Brown describes his main character in the book as "Harrison Ford in Harris tweed"-. Sounds like Professor Jones to me.

Ok... you want a truly sacrilegious story and film, Dan Brown? Pay attention, this is how it's done
:
Make your main character the product of a virgin birth, like Jesus.

Give him anger issues as a child, as the Gnostic gospels claim Jesus had.

Make him part of a religious ruling sect... Jesus again.

Now, make him marry in secret, like Jesus has done in every book since "Holy Blood, Holy Grail"

Then have him turn his back on his religion, like Jesus did to the High Priests.

Have his best friend turn on him...

Now, flip it. Make the main character EVIL! Wow! Different.

Have him have kids. Have the kids grow up and take him out.

There you go.

No, wait... That's the Star Wars Saga....

DARN YOU GEORGE LUCAS!  You've foiled Dan Brown again!

So ya... nothing new under the sun my friends.

It's just mediocrity hitting us between the eyes once again.