Of fastfood icons, and their ilk.

What is Grimace?

All these years watching McDonaldland adventures in ADD bitesized 30 sec morsels have never fully answered that question for me.

McDonaldland is obviously named for Ronald McDonald, the flat footed, onesy wearing, burger clown. Yet, he is not Mayor of McDonaldland. That job falls to Mayor McCheese, a walking, talking, sash wearing cheeseburger. No surprise or ambiguity as to his race or species there.

Maybe Ronald was like King of McDonaldland? Hmm. He wears no crown. The Burger King wears a crown, and he's always making sure you know it. He makes everyone call him "The King."

Heck, Ronald was probably just a well paid spokesman. Well paid in Happy Meals! Regardless...

Big Mac, an anthropomorphic big mac that wears a keystone cop outfit is obviously Johnny Law. There's the Hamburgler, who is somewhat human, and burgles hamburgers. Captain Crook is a pirate, and human. The Fry Guys... heck, I don't know what the fry guys are either. Maybe they're anthropomorphic mops from the McDonaldland's McDonalds custodian's closet. The Early Bird, is a bird... who flies... early.


But the Grimace... he's gynormous, and purple. He's also rather slow. Not physically slow, but mentally. On his first appearance he seemed to be obssessed with sodas and milkshakes. Later on, his Uncle O'Grimacey appears and he's totally into some disgusting green milkshake.

So apparently there are other Grimaces. A whole island of Grimaces if one is to believe those commercials disguised as a cartoon, where they have their own king. Although none of the other Grimaces appear to be nearly as stupid.

But again I am left with the question... what the heck IS Grimace?

And while we're at it, which branch of the armed forces did Colonel Sanders serve in that I have to call him The Colonel?

Also, is the Wendy's girl Ronald's bastard daughter? If so, WHO is the mother of that ginger nightmare?

I'd venture to guess, Grimace's sister.